Cannabis 101: Booze vs Grass

With the recent news that there may be a global wine shortage turning out to be a bit exaggerated, there has been a lot of “Huzzahs!” going on in the weed community as it seems like ripe ground to get some new weedcruits. In that light, I wanted to do sort of an apples to apples comparison of weed to booze to help anyone teetering on the fence make a choice.

Caveat: I clearly have a bias. I am a writer on a weed connoisseur website, after all. But I don’t want to give the impression that I am anti-booze or leading a crusade against the liquor industry. I’m not. Though I certainly prefer reefer, I do still enjoy a fine whiskey, a deep Tempranillo, or a well-crafted absinthe. Please forgive my weed bias. I have nothing against alcohol, but I do think it’s silly how much freedom it enjoys compared to the speed bumps and hurdles that cannabis has had to (and continues to have to) overcome to be on equal footing with booze.

Morning after:

This one goes unequivocally to cannabis. I once smoked about a half ounce of weed in one day. If you’re new to cannabis, that might not seem like a lot considering that there are 12oz in a single can of beer. Take it from me, a half ounce of pot is a lot, normally enough to last me 20-30 days. Especially smoked weed. This is something I did in college on New Years Eve. I was recreating the “cannonball” scene from Caddyshack where Bill Murrary and Chevy Chase were smoking weed and drinking, passing one to the other and vice-versa. Except in this instance, there was no booze, just a bong and pipe going back and forth from me, to my friend, to me. He was a pot light weight and was soon finished, but I went all the way. Cannonball!

Though I was dead asleep by 9pm, there was nothing even close to the alcohol hangover the following morning. I woke up still feeling a little stoned and it took a few extra cups of tea to clear the morning brain fog. But that was it. Perhaps a little temporary phlegm simply from smoking so much organic matter. I was able to drive home and go to work without any real side effects. Compare that to the head-pounding, vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, and light sensitivity that accompany even a somewhat mild night of drinking. This is why I suspect that former drinkers who turn to pot really don’t drink much after the switch.

Risk of OD/Destroying Your Life:

Weed is the clear winner here. Unless winning in this category means “highest potential for havoc and death.” This is another non-contest. There is a reason that there are conditions called alcohol poisoning and alcoholism, but none called cannabis poisoning nor can you be a potaholic. It’s simply a non-starter. Weed has never in the history of mankind caused a death due to overdose. For just 2010, the CDC attributes 41,682 deaths to alcohol (this figure includes 15,990 deaths from alcohol related liver disease and 25,692 alcohol-induced deaths, excluding accidents and homicides.) That equates to roughly 114 people per day or almost 5 people an hour that die as a direct result of alcohol. That means every hour booze kills infinitely more people than cannabis has, ever.

Price:

Depending on the quality, amounts, and place of purchase, this category is basically a wash. Obviously, in Uruguay, weed is cheaper. In Texas, booze is cheaper, largely because it’s legal.
Here in Washington, I’d say its about even, though I find I get more bang for my buck with marijuana.

Ease of Access:

Again depending on where you are, this has some variation. By and large, however, alcohol is way easier to get. It is ubiquitous. Other than a random county here and there where booze is still outlawed, you really can’t throw a rock in this country without hitting an alcohol retailer of some kind.

Levels of Impairment:

This category is more like comparing apples to oranges than apples to apples. With marijuana, you aren’t impaired in the same way as with booze, although I wouldn’t recommend to drive impaired under either. Sounds and sights are more interesting, food will taste better, your memory may get temporarily spotty (very mild, usually its forgetting that you already put on your coat or that your wallet is already in your pocket). Unless your weed has been tainted or laced with something, you really shouldn’t be hallucinating or seeing streamers or slurring your speech. Your reaction times may decrease (I say “may” because I don’t experience this effect, but some do). With alcohol, your judgment and bodily functions are affected. You can see double, slur your words, suffer significantly delayed reaction times. We all know the effects of being drunk.

Perhaps the most dangerous effect of alcohol is the lack of inhibition and impaired judgment. I mean a shot of Jack to loosen up before you go ask that cute girl out is one thing, but I think we can all dredge up a story about when we did something just ass-backwards stupid/violent/regrettable while drunk.  That just doesn’t seem to happen with weed. The only thing I regretted after smoking weed was the decision to eat at KFC. At the time it seemed like the best idea, but KFC is almost always the worst idea.

Social Acceptance:

This is one category where weed is the overwhelming underdog. Regardless of all the above points, the non-stop flood of evidence that supports the claim that weed is incredibly safe, that booze is one of the biggest killers of our citizens, and even in the light of burgeoning legality, it’s just universally socially acceptable to have a drink while there is still a thick stigma that comes with marijuana. I suspect this will lessen as time wears on and legal weed is just the norm.

Even in my own home the stigma runs deep. I go to great lengths to hide my cannabis consumption from my sons, not because I am ashamed or don’t want them to enjoy it when they are of age. It’s just that they are still young and developing and I want them to retain their youthful innocence a bit longer. By that same token, though, I don’t think twice about opening a beer and drinking it in front of them. Arguably, I’d rather them pick up a joint to a bottle of Scotch. But it just goes to show how deep that stigma runs in our culture.